The Sovereign Lead: Reclaiming Your Rhythm in a Stormy World
The Sovereign Lead: Reclaiming Your Rhythm in a Stormy World
There is a subtle, exhausting phenomenon that happens when we find ourselves in environments—be they professional, creative, or personal—that feel unpredictable or misaligned. We become "temperature takers." We learn to walk into a room and immediately scan the atmosphere: Is it safe? Is it tense? Who is angry? How much space can I take up today without causing a ripple?
When we do this, we believe we are being "peacekeepers," but in reality, we are handing over the reins of our own nervous system to the "weather" created by others. We begin to live as though we are asking silent permission for our own existence—rather than the declaring it to be.
For those of us who value harmony, it is easy to mistake "tip-toeing" for "kindness." (Not unlike the mistaken idea of a ‘loose rein’ being kind.) We tell ourselves we are keeping the peace by shrinking our footprint, lowering our voice, or delaying our dreams until the environment is "ready" for them.
But peace is not the absence of conflict; it is the presence of alignment. When we shrink to accommodate a chaotic environment, we aren't creating peace—we are creating a "false calm" at the expense of our own integrity. We lend our rhythm to someone else’s song, and eventually, we forget the melody of our own lives.
The reclamation of agency begins with a fundamental shift. A thermometer merely reflects the environment; it is a slave to the ambient heat. A thermostat, however, sets the climate. It decides what the temperature will be and works to maintain that standard, regardless of the blizzard outside.
To reclaim your agency, you must decide to be the thermostat.
This starts with the "Permission Fast." It is the practice of recognizing that for the things you have agency over—your vision, your work, your voice—you do not need a second signature on the check. When we stop asking "Is it okay if...?" and start stating "I am doing...", we reclaim the energy we used to spend on negotiation and reinvest it into creation.
Often, we feel we cannot be truly powerful, that we cannot truly inhabit our own space until we are in the "perfect" situation—the right house, the right job, the right partnership. We tell ourselves, "I will take up space once I have ____.”
But agency is a muscle, and the most difficult environments are often the best gymnasiums. If you can maintain your own rhythm while the world around you is in chaos, you yourself begin to become "congruent." This is what horses teach us - they do not follow the loudest leader or even the nicest leader; they follow the most congruent leader. They follow the one whose internal state matches their external action.
Taking up space is not about being loud or aggressive. It is about "occupying the field" of your own life. It is the refusal to speed up your walk to get out of someone’s way. It is the refusal to apologize for a vision that isn't yet visible to others. It is the act of inhabiting your own skin so fully that your presence becomes an invitation for others to do the same—or a boundary that they cannot cross.
Reclaiming your agency means deciding that your "rhythm" is non-negotiable. Whether you are in a temporary holding pattern or on the verge of a great move, the work is the same: Take the reins. Set the climate. Occupy the space. Your vision doesn't need a permission slip; it needs a leader.
